My (fake)
interview with Ellen Degeneres by Michelle A. Moore, 9-17-17
I am writing
this post because I don’t expect to EVER be on the Ellen Show, so why not have
some fun and write a dream piece? In my world, I can do anything, be anything, and
go anywhere, so why not be on the Ellen Show?
Here’s how it would play out.
We are two
weeks into this season, Ellen’s 15th. It’s the same as always: fun, motivating,
thought-provoking, and she makes me laugh while bringing joy to the world AND
doing great deeds. By the way, my first articles printed in a local newspaper
were called, “Good People Doing Good Things” when I lived in Lake Orion,
Michigan. I am not a professional writer, but I thought it was important to let
everyone know about the noble stuff happening in our community and possibly motivate
others to do the same.
My goal in life
is to help and also inspire others to be the best they can be, which started at
a young age. I have always been called Smiley
because I found that the simple act of smiling can do a lot of good and make
people feel better. In junior high, I signed a greeting card with “Take care, Michelle” and people thought
it was so sweet for a child my age to write ‘take care’ so I continued to use
it. We are molded and shaped by everything that touches our lives. I have
always been too emotional and compassionate, and I still want to cry when I see
an expired animal on the side of the road. I cannot work in an animal shelter because
I would take them all home with me. I donate and fund-raise for them, and I do
adopt my furry friends from shelters so right now I have the sweetest, most playful
and loving, three-legged kitty around. I named her Lefty Lucy, of course! See photo below.
Where did my
upbeat, positive attitude come from? God, my parents, family, and friends - I’m
not sure, but I’m glad I have it. It has seen me through a lot of challenges,
given me hope, helped others, and I pray that it never goes away. I have been accused
of living in a dream world, wearing rose-colored glasses, and not being realistic,
but every day I get to choose my attitude and ‘looking on the bright side’
seems best to me.
So this year
Ellen has brought on celebrities like Pink, her friend and writer of the show’s
cheerful theme song (Today’s The Day), and Channing Tatum, who hilariously attended
the Magic Mike show with Ellen and her crew in Vegas, was a good sport to
fulfill Halle Berry’s challenge to dress up like a princess and sing, and also inspired
Ellen’s new name game What is Channing’s
Tatum? Those who didn’t know what a wenis
was, learned something new that day. By the way, it is a term for the extra
skin that covers the tip of your elbow. As a librarian, I believe in lifelong
learning so the educational component wasn’t missed by me. Jessica Biel danced on
to the show to the Dirty Dancing song with tWitch and set off a new contest by
Ellen to give $10,000 to a charity chosen by the winner. *I will win this, see
interview below. Ellen frequently brings on regular people who are doing good
in their communities, because she supports everyone and brings attention to
these important matters. That is exactly what I want to do too. Minus the humor
part because I can’t tell a joke to save my life! So here is my (fake)
interview on the Ellen Show, consult the TV Guide for show times!
THE ELLEN SHOW:
Music plays “Today’s
the day I’ve been waiting for…” I come
in dancing amazingly well, because your normal/non-celebrity guests
usually just walk in and give you a hug. My dance is even better than Jessica’s
Dirty Dancing intro, so you vote me as the best normal/non-celebrity guest
dancer ever and offer the $10,000 to my favorite charity! Wow, Ellen, I am so honored and you are so
generous. Thanks for not mentioning my two left feet and outrageously awful
coordination! You say, “Well if I had known about it, I would have” You are SO funny and never let an opportunity get away from
you.
And I say that
even with the fact that I have 2 left feet, I found a way to do it. AND THAT IS
THE WHOLE POINT OF MY BEING HERE ON YOUR SHOW, ELLEN. I am not rich and famous,
I am not beautiful, but as a fairly normal person, I AM THE LUCKIEST PERSON IN THE
WORLD! And I want to share this attitude and empowerment with everyone who
needs it!
I AM HERE - TO
SHARE THIS ATTITUDE AND EMPOWERMENT - WITH EVERYONE WHO NEEDS IT. J
I just earned
$10,000 of your hard-earned money for my favorite charity. Despite the fact
that I am an awful dancer and have a partial knee replacement surgery coming up.
Mahalo, Ellen, for having me on your show. It is a dream come true! J
At this point
you will probably say something like, “You
said you’re not beautiful, but I think you are.” And when I stop blushing
from your compliment-which may or may not have been my whole point of saying it-I
state that everyone IS beautiful in their own way. I was married twice, so at
least 2 men have found me absolutely adorable, wink-wink, but I prefer being
single. And because I am single, and my daughters are practically grown, I was
able to run away to tackle a new adventure. I earned it though. I worked hard and
I made it happen. At this point you would say, “Yes, hard work is important. Remember that kids, stay in school.”
You ask “Where did your upbeat, positive attitude come
from?” And I say, I’m not sure, but I’m glad I have it. It’s a part of me,
it’s internal and must be from God, my parents, family, and friends. I feel
blessed to have it AND I want to share it. It has seen me through a lot of
challenges, given me hope, helped me to help others, and I pray that it never
goes away.
My mom has an
amazing green thumb, but I didn’t get that in my genes (which is my dad’s name
by the way, Gene-not Eugene-my grandmas were cool ladies.) I did however get
the “sunshine” gene and “do good” gene from my parents.
Picture a
small, cute, happy home with me and my daughters, Celeste and Olivia, sitting
in the living room. You’ll see a fireplace and TV, a popcorn machine, a slushy
maker, and a comfy couch, but not one plant to be found. So my mom brought to me
a lucky bamboo plant and it worked! Not only did I realize I was the luckiest
person in the world, I ended up in Hawaii – paradise – and I never dreamed I
would make it there, just like being a guest on your show. See how lucky I am? This
upbeat, positive, optimistic attitude is a very important part of my life and I
want to tell everyone, regardless of your situation or challenges, you can do
this.
Dream it, do it;
Shoot for the stars… – Oh, how I love inspirational quotes and breathtaking photos.
It’s cheesy, and my staff at work would like to beam me up to the Enterprise every
time I pull out a new one to share, but they work for me. I am full of advice:
find what works for you and use it. My dad would say, use the right tool for
the right job. Other advice I give, take care of yourself so you are more able to take care of others. Many people
ignore this to avoid seeming conceited. My next advice: stop worrying about
what other people think.
My go-to advice
for everyone: Always Look on the Bright Side (name of my blog) and Do good, Be
positive. Follow this and you can’t go wrong. If you do go wrong, learn from it
and be better.J
You then say, “You are so entertaining and I could listen to
you all day without having to speak. I will
just sit here and still be funny, because I am that good!” And I say, but
Ellen, this is your show, go ahead and ask me a question.
You say, “You danced in even though you are
not a dancer and earned $10,000 for your favorite charity, Congratulations. Who
would you like to support?”
For years we
have supported The American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. What a great
concept. People are fighting cancer 24 hours a day so it’s incredible that so many
people will come together to pledge money & time to walk, talk, listen,
work, fundraise, and celebrate those fighting cancer for an event which lasts literally
24 hours. Sadly, we have a few important personal reasons why we were pointed
toward this charity. I will bring in my 2 awesome daughters who are huge fans
of yours and also the biggest reason I consider myself the luckiest person in the
world. (They need to join in the fun since this is a dream interview, after
all.)
I introduce my
oldest daughter, Celeste, who is an opera singer (and Ellen tells everyone, “You will hear her sing later in the show”)
who married into the amazing Peake family, and now lives in Chicago, and then I
introduce Olivia, my baby who has dedicated her life to serving and helping
others by joining the Army, and who will graduate from the University of
Michigan in April with a nursing degree.
They speak with
you about Relay for Life, the wonderful people who inspired us, and the
importance of doing what you can to help others. You gush over how amazing they
are and they gush over how amazing you are!
Then I explain
more reasons why I am the luckiest person in the world. I talk about how I
divorced my husband after 15 years, raised our daughters to be intelligent, compassionate,
optimistic, helpful people, found a way to go to grad school to fulfill my
dream of being a librarian to serve my calling to help people, and still remain
positive to be a cheerleader and inspire others. Life is a journey filled with
ups and downs. Challenges really do make you stronger and everything happens
for a reason. You say, “Don’t I know it,
but please continue Michelle, this is fascinating.”
Since you
insisted, J I speak
about my philosophy L L L L E E H: Live, Love, Laugh, Learn, Experience, Enjoy,
& Help. One of the many tips and tricks I have learned for navigating life
includes taking a deep breath and listing 3 things that I am thankful for. I
also surround myself with photos, mementos, and things I love. One of my
favorite quotes right now is, “The best things in life are the people we love,
the places we’ve been, and the memories we’ve made along the way” but I haven’t
found the owner of this statement. There are numerous methods that are quick
and easy ways to improve a life - and everyone can do it.
Since you find my
interview so significant, you decide you want to extend it beyond one show and
ask me to give encouraging life tips all week. I can’t believe it, but I say
yes. This is exactly what I have been dreaming of: A real platform to spread
the joy and reach a lot of people. Ellen, you’re the best. This is a fake
interview and I can dream up anything so let’s go all out and have you ask me
to join your crew and work alongside you to bring happiness to the world. I can
also earn more money to pay off my student loans and bills so I can dedicate more
time to helping people without the stress and worry of money. I am the luckiest person in the world.
Ellen, I have
always dreamed of being on your show because I love you, your attitude, your
courage, and your humor, which is so needed in this world – thank you, thank
you, thank you (you need three, just one isn’t enough). I am blessed to be here
because I never thought I was good enough to be part of your show, but that’s
the point, everyone is. I am a regular person who, like many others, has made
it through life by persevering, overcoming adversities, learning, growing,
sharing, and surviving everything that comes my way. If I can help others with
what I have learned and show that despite the challenges you can still see beauty
in life by adjusting your attitude, I will be happy. J This is another reason I consider
myself to be the luckiest person in the world. Even with challenges, every day
I can count my blessings and appreciate life.
You say, “Michelle, thank you for being on my show. You
are an amazing person with a kind heart. I applaud your goals of working to inspire
and help others in any way you can.”
I say that You are
a true original and I am grateful you expanded your guest selection to include
me and my daughters. Thank you for all you do - and I’ll see you tomorrow :)
You finish with, "Here is Celeste" and she amazes everyone with her beautiful voice.
